“I wish all lovers that follow me on Facebook a Happy Valentines Day today. For 34 years I have received flowers and a card from my husband Richard without fail. It is my hope that our sons do the same to their wives. I always wonder how he was able to do this no matter where or in whatever part of the world I was. He has never allowed distance stand in the way. For example between 2005-2009 he was Chief Justice in Swaziland and I was Cabinet Minister & Vice President in Malawi. This meant that we lived in two different countries. Even then flowers arrived on Valentine Day.

On this day I look back with gratitude to God for Richards love for me and the children. He is a man of a few words but a man who loved his family unconditionally. He also provided well for our family within his means. Our son Roy speaking at the reception to mark our Silver Jubilee said that as our children they had watched two people with different personalities enjoy a happy married life. He said and I quote” Mom speaks, Dad listens, Mom dances, Dad watches, Mom tells jokes, Dad laughs, Mom eats Sukuma, Ngumbi, Chisoso, bonongwe, Dad eats steak, fillet, baked potatoes etc. I have always wondered what keeps these two people happily together, and I have concluded that it must be love” end of quote.

As a man of a few words, he has expressed his love for me through flowers, rings, gifts and international travel to Unique and beautiful places in the world. In 1982 he took me to Nyika Plateau, in 1985 he took me to the UK, in 1988 he took me around the world. We have been to the beautiful beaches of Cancun Mexico, we have been to Alaska, we have been to Victoria Falls, we have been to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia and stayed at the Golden Horses Hotel in 1996, we have been to Singapore in 1995, all this travel long before we ever thought we would be in public office and travel far beyond on duty.

He has given so much time towards shaping the future of his children. 5 o’clock every school day, they all had to have done their homework and present it for his inspection. 7.00pm sharp everyday I served dinner. Each of them had to come to the table looking neat, hair combed and for the boys with their shirts tacked in. If any of them forgot, just a look from him and they went running back. Day before leaving for boarding school every term, each one of them received a lecture about what he expected of them. After dinner he would spend along time at the table talking to the children about history, global events, sports and words of wisdom. One that has stayed with me all these years is ‘you can fool some of the people some of the time but you can’t fool all the people all the time”.

On my part, I believe in the ‘love’ that develops after the “Iam in love stuff”. This is the love that endures all. When all there is in a relationship is the ‘Inlove thing” experts say it only lasts for two to four years. When real genuine love does not exist, the relationship will end without doubt. Knowing this, I have spent my married life trying so hard to cultivate the real genuine love by demonstrating to my husband that I love and respect him. I have ensured that I also demonstrate my love for him by standing with him through thick and thin. Caring for him in good health and in sickness. Standing with him when situations were smooth and when they were rough. I have tried my best to love his parents and his entire family. I have learned that nurturing your love, loving our relatives and ensuring that there is peace and harmony in the family, created the environment for our love to grow and blossom. On our 25th anniversary our son Roy after giving his speech, he sang a song for us by Eric Clapton “YOU LOOK WONDERFUL TONIGHT” that describes our everyday life absolutely. Through the years we enjoyed going out to events and/or hosting events ourselves and the children heard the conversation in this song all the time. The second song “FOUR DAYS LATE” by Karen Peck has been our daily prayer for many years. I have attached both songs so you can share our special songs on this special day. May God bless you all.”

Have a blessed day.
Joyce Banda

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