Rachel Dolezal, the U.S. woman who became famous –or infamous– in 2015 for passing as a black woman during a long time, recently published a book on her difficult experiences with her struggles on racial identity.

In these memoirs, titled “In Full Color: Finding My Place In A Black And White World”, Dolezal recalls she had problems with her first marriage (to a black man) because she was “too black” for him.

Dolezal insists she identifies more than ever as an African American. She has two mixed-race sons, Izaiah and Franklin, who have stood by her in the difficult times she has had after scandal broke out.

People around her thought she was black, and held some important positions, such as being regional leader of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP), and a Black Lives Matter activist. When her parents came out to say she was in effect born white, many were aghast, dumbfounded and angry that she was trying to impersonate a race that was not really hers. Some even accused her of committing a “hate crime” by trying to pass as a woman of color.

But she has stood by her beliefs. “I am unapologetically on the black side,” she says, recalling she had always fantasized about being black, since she was a child, with those around her always telling “I’ve never met a white person like you. You’re more black than you are white. And then, people started to just identify me as mixed or biracial or even albino… And I just let it happen because I … got tired of.” There are people who even asked her if her mother had had an affair.

With this new book, Dolezal will try to explain her own thoughts and feelings about the great controversy she stirred back then. “To live, and to stay on the planet means I have to be myself… I can’t give it up just because everybody wants me to,” she insists.