Fights and arguments are normal for relationships, but it’s also important to note that we can’t allow them happen for too long, as that can lead to the end of the relationship.
Here are some ways you can easily handle those fights when they crop up.
Trading blames has never helped a situation, instead it worsens it. You’ve had a fight, fine, what you need to do is figure out a way to end it, not fuel it. There’s no point thinking of how the argument started in the first place, you’ll only further complicate things.
DON’T RECALL PREVIOUS FIGHTS
It’s very easy for you to want to do a little ‘throwback’ during or after a heated argument with your partner, after all, you’re angry, but it’s not advisable, things will only escalate from there. Let it go, and focus on how you can mend the relationship.
DON’T DISCOUNT FEELINGS
Speak your feelings and address the feelings of your partner, showing your interest in their emotional state. Let your partner know that most things he/she says that’s upsetting him/her equally might be upsetting to you too as a human being.
AVOID THE URGE TO CRITICIZE
Criticizing your partner’s personality will only aggravate the situation, especially if you do it deliberately. Do not insult your partner, but talk about the specific actions that upset you. Be kind enough to let him or her know his/her actions that hurt you but do not generalize on his/her behaviour.
REMEMBER THERE’S A DIFFERENT POINT OF VIEW FROM YOURS
Arguments ensue because people disagree, which is normal as I already mentioned. What is also normal is you understanding that you could be wrong, while your partner is right. That’s why it’s good to take a pause, and consider their own point of view. Listen to them, and give their opinion a thought. Even if they’re wrong, don’t run it down, subtly explain why you can’t accept their own opinion.
IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO WALK AWAY
Disagreements cause arguments, and arguments cause fights. Sometimes the difference between a small misunderstanding and a full-blown fight is the decision to walk away. If things seem like they’re about to get out of hand, just get up and leave for that moment.
After you leave, come back later, when they’re calmer and more relaxed.
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