I am a married woman. I got married two years ago. From the day my husband came to our house with his people, his brother took a special likeness for me, and it was obvious whenever this brother of his sees me, he will always hug me and hold me tight. Initially I felt it was harmless so I played along and even started calling him my husband too.

Things continued without issues until sometime last year when my husband got a lecturing job at a certain University. The appointment meant that he spends lesser time at home with me and more time in school, he often comes home sometime once in 2 or 3 weeks. Staying alone with our son became lonely for me. I told him and he suggested that I should bring his or my younger sibling. I was even the one who suggested his brother who was still job hunting because I was free with him and that was the beginning of my problems.

My husband informed him and ask him to leave his base in Lagos to come stay with us in Port-Harcourt. I was over-joyed because honestly, the loneliness in the house was driving me crazy. When he arrived around July last year, my husband opened up a poultry business to keep busy with while he is still searching for a another job because his passion is in banking.

Our routine then was simply stay at the poultry after school run and gist the entire whole day away, I wasn’t working then because my husband said no work until after raising kids. While all this was going on, I will always tease him about not having a girlfriend. Whenever I tease him about it, he will say I am his wife so he doesn’t need a girl friend anymore, all the signs was there but I ignored them thinking it was nothing. The first thing that I noticed was that he started being unhappy whenever my husband is around, but whenever he leaves the normal happy him re-appears.

Late one night, I started vomiting, it was a case of severe food poisoning, he drove me to the hospital and called my husband to inform him of my sickness, my husband spoke with the doctor and the doctor told him I have acute typhoid fever and Hepatitis A for which I was treated and discharged. The doctor warned me to stay off some certain foods and rest properly when I go home. When we got back home, my brother in-law showed me enough love day and night, he took care of me, cook the foods, wash the dishes and also taking my son to and from school.

Imagine my surprise when I got to the bathroom one morning and discovered that my brother in-law washed the underwear I soaked overnight, I was embarrassed and thrilled at the same time because my husband has never gone near my under wear, talk more of washing them. I didn’t know how to thank him, so I called him hug and pecked him and told him how happy I was but told him not to try it again. He told me there was nothing wrong in washing my under wear, that after all I am his wife. We laughed it off but it didn’t stop there.

I also noticed he had an instant erection when I hugged him but I pretended not to notice so I would not embarrass him any further. He kept on doing it any chance he got that I had no other option than to start hiding my under wear, I don’t even soak them anymore. One night around September, I slept off while we were watching a movie late at night only to wake up in his arms when he was carrying me to the bed. I wanted to scream at him but something held me back, I actually like the way he pampers me so I wouldn’t like to discourage him, he carried me as if I was breakable and place me on the bed, covered me with duvet and kissed me goodnight on the fore head before leaving.

That was the best any man including my husband has ever treated me. I couldn’t sleep again that night, the following days was horrible, the tension was as thick as kpomo. I was actually falling in love with him, I never believed this man came from the same womb with my authoritative husband, in contrast, the difference is clear. One thing led to another and one night when he carried me to bed as usual, I held him back when he wanted to leave and kissed him, he kissed me back and started caressing me, I tried stopping him but I was too weak, my whole soul and body wanted him and so we made love. I felt guilty but I couldn’t stop myself, our affair continued after that night, and to be honest, I had the best time of my life.

Last week Wednesday, he came to me with a letter grinning from ear to ear. I took the letter from him and read it, it was a letter of appointment with Access bank and the sad news was that  they were posting him to a new branch in Delta state and he is to resume in march. I have been crying my eyes out begging him not to leave me, he told  me what we had was real but wrong but that he will be coming every weekend. This was the first time he was refusing me something in his entire life. I feel used  because I know if I was in his shoes I wouldn’t leave him just like that upon the sacrifices I made including cheating on my husband. He seduced me into this in the first place.

Since then, I have not spoken a word to him. I know I am wrong in everything I have done but you have to be in my shoe, experience what I have experienced before you judge me. I didn’t know I have become this attached to him. I cry myself to sleep every night and I have lost weight. I don’t know how to survive when he leaves. Please I need help from people who have been in such a situation before to please tell me how to stop loving somebody who doesnt love you anymore.

I am having suicidal feelings. It is that bad