The foundation of every relationship is based on mutual trust. When trust is gone, trouble begins- cheating in relationships is one of the common reasons couples break up.
But why do people cheat? When you argue with your spouse due to infidelity, have you ever tried to find the root of cause? Speaking to the Insider, Psychotherapy counselor Claire McRitchie said, “When we hear about people cheating, we often look at the external factors of their life and question, ‘why’ or ‘how could they’.
The uncomfortable truth is, the answer lies behind the carefully manufactured exterior – in fact, the exterior can often be the clue as to why.”
So, what are the common reasons why people decide to tread down that path?
Boredom
The sad reality is that people cheat on their spouses because they are bored. Remember when the relationship was new, all the sparks and butterflies you felt? Well, when it fades away, it’s easy to find pleasure in the arms of someone else in a bid to keep monotony at bay. This can be dangerous for couples. Try and communicate with your spouse when you feel the relationship is no longer enjoyable. Instead of cheating, try and work it out or end the relationship altogether.
Revenge
Some people have a hard time letting things go, which affects the relationship in the long run. Having suppressed anger can easily lead you to cheat on your partner, and it’s worse if your spouse is not aware of the bottled up emotions. McRitchie says, “The knowledge that the other person is being punished without realizing is for some people a cruel and unusual way of punishing them – sometimes for perceived slights rather than real ones.”
Seeking validation
Nothing’s worse than a partner who doesn’t appreciate you or makes you feel unimportant. While cheating is not justified, people crave validation when they feel like they have been taken for granted. For women, emotional validation is crucial and needs to be acknowledged. When they don’t find it in their current partners, the chances are high that they’ll look for it somewhere else.
Circumstances
Some people cheat on their partners because they have the opportunity. The events that can lead one to cheat depend on various reasons. For instance, finding yourself in a room with someone you are sexually attracted to. This is also common among couples in long-distance relationships, especially when communication is poor.
Want out of the relationship
It’s normal for love to fade away, but some people find it extremely difficult to tell their spouses about it and as they don’t want to be the one to end the relationship. McRitchie explains that, “Sometimes the truth is that a person is just looking for a way out and rather than have an honest albeit painful conversation – they resort to cheating – sloppy cheating.
Rather than admit that they are no longer in love with their partner they turn to another and they don’t cover their tracks very well, they want to be caught – they want out but lack the bravery and emotional intelligence to put this into words.”
