Not a lot of people want the risk of dating just one person. They want back-ups just in case the one they really love leaves them blindsided.

No one wants to be hurt, which is why it’s such a scary time to look for a relationship. You need to be vigilant, so you can void becoming the “side chick.”

Do you think you’re dating someone who’s dating other people? Here are 8 signs you might be right.

1. You have low expectations

You’re impressed when he does something as small as wish you a good night. That’s a problem! Your expectations should be higher than that, and they would if you weren’t his side chick. But, he’s set the bar low… very low. And because of that, all he has to do is respond to your texts and you feel butterflies.

2. He leaves right after s*x

He doesn’t stay and talk after s*x. And there’s absolutely no snuggling. The second he’s done, he gets dressed and leaves without a second thought. Do you want to know why he’s in such a rush? Two possibilities. Either he needs to get back to his girlfriend or he doesn’t want to spend the night with you. Which one’s worse?

3. He’s secretive

You don’t know anything about him. Does he have siblings? Is he unemployed? Does he own a home? You have no idea and not for lack of trying. You’ve asked questions, he just never answers. Instead of letting you in, he keeps you at arm’s length. He’s not looking at you in a long-term girlfriend kind of way, so why would he tell you his secrets?

4. You only see him at night

Do you only see him after the sun goes down? That’s a pretty clear sign you’re his side chick. If you were someone he actually liked, he’d make time for you during the day. Whether that was taking you to brunch on Sunday or hitting up a farmer’s market. Your meet-ups wouldn’t be restricted to after-hour events.

5. He keeps you happy with the bare minimum

He knows to keep you, you have to stay interested in him. That’s why he showers you with compliments and that million-dollar smile of his. The second you start to distant yourself is when he acts interested. He understands how women think and he’s not afraid to use his knowledge to manipulate you.

6. He’s stingy with money

You’ve been “seeing” each other for a while now, and he’s spent a total of $0 on you. Makes sense. Guys with side chicks don’t usually have the budget to treat every one of their ladies. And unfortunately, you didn’t make the cut. He’s got to cut costs somewhere, which explains why you’re always the one paying for Postmates.

7. He doesn’t take you on dates

You don’t get “date nights,” you get “after-thought nights.” He only hangs out with you when his plans fall through, which rarely happens because he keeps a packed schedule. The worst part? He has no shame! He calls you at 10 pm and asks to “come over” without even apologizing for the late-night phone call. Disrespect at its finest.

8. He avoids any ‘boyfriend’ duties

He refuses to be your plus one to weddings and he won’t go to your friend’s dinner parties. He says he likes you, but his actions speak louder than his words. If he liked you, he’d act like a boyfriend and not a stranger you met on the street.