Britney Spears has apologized to fans for “pretending like I’ve been OK”, while suffering under what she calls an “abusive” conservatorship.

The star told a US court on Wednesday that she wants the conservatorship – which controls her personal life and finances – to end after 13 years.

She revealed the arrangement requires her to use birth control and prevents her from marrying her boyfriend.

On Instagram, she said she had not spoken out before due to “pride”.

“I’m bringing this to people’s attention because I don’t want people to think my life is perfect because it’s definitely not at all, and if you have read anything about me in the news this week… you obviously really know now it’s not,” she said.

Spears apologised to fans for hiding the truth from them, adding: “I did it because of my pride and I was embarrassed to share what happened to me… but honestly who doesn’t want to capture there [sic] Instagram in a fun light!”

The 39-year-old has been under the conservatorship since 2008, when concerns over her mental health prompted her father, Jamie Spears, to petition the court for legal authority over his daughter’s life.

In court on Wednesday, Britney read a prepared statement asking for the arrangement to end.

“I’ve been in denial. I’ve been in shock. I am traumatized,” she said in the emotional, 23-minute speech. “I just want my life back.”

In response, Britney’s father said he always had her best interests at heart.