ZAMBIA – AN ELEVEN-year old marriage of a couple in Lusaka has crashed on the proverbial rocks because the woman has been telling her husband that his pounding gadget is too small to be seen without a microscope.

With a bruised ego, Daniel Mbewe aged 32 of Kanyama Compound has walked out on his wife Susan Phiri, 28 and has vowed not to return to his matrimonial home.

But in an effort to get the father of her three children back to her bed, Suzan petitioned the Lusaka Boma Local Court to reconcile her with her husband.

Mbewe complained to the court that despite his bedroom efforts and hard work resulting in Susan making three trips to the labour ward, she constantly belittled the size of his wand saying

she had seen bigger rods from real men and that his felt like pencil in a jug.

He explained that unable to stand the ego-brusing references to his efficient reproductive machine from a woman he impregnated thrice, he left home.

“My wife would pass hurtful remarks that my manhood is so thin that she feels like it’s a stick barely felt in her womanhood,” Mbewe said.

Mbewe told the court that he was in fact looking forward to marry another woman because he did not want to reconcile with Susan as she was disrespectful.

However, the court heard a different story when Susan took the stand.

“My husband deserted the house early July for no apparent reason and has since refused to come back,” Susan told the court.

She said prior to Mbewe’s departure from their matrimonial home, he would complain about how unattractive she had become and that she would abscond from bathing until it was bedtime.

Having taken note of Mbewe’s refusal to reconcile with Susan, senior court Magistrates Mubukwani Matakala advised either of the parties to file for divorce saying they were irreconcilable.