A 51-year old man, who was sued for divorce before the Lusaka Boma Local Court, last Thursday pleaded for his marriage to be spared because in the absence of his wife, his manhood shrinks to toothpick size and its job description is downgraded to just urinating.

Francis Daka of Linda compound cried that ending his 32-year marriage to Grace Mwanza, aged 47, with whom he has nine children, would automatically result in his premature retirement from all s3xual duties, especially that the traditional consultant his wife had given the tender to disable his machine had long died and therefore his situation is irreversible.

“Even right now if the court wants, we can get a male court clerk and go to the bathroom to see how tiny my manhood is compared to when I’m with my wife, you will see the tremendous change in size,” Daka told the court presided over by justice Martha Tembo.

But no court clerk offered themselves to go and hunt for the small finger-like item in Daka’s trousers.

Daka told the court that the only time his manhood assumes its rightful big, strong and reliable size and discharges its assigned bedroom duties efficiently was when he was behind closed doors with his wife.

However, Grace insisted that she no longer wanted Daka as her husband because he was a foul-talking man who insulted her even in the presence of the couple’s children.

She said on matrimonial arguments, Daka usually locks her outside and occasionally sends her away from home, despite acquiring the estate and motor vehicles as a couple.

Further, Grace explained that she wanted her marriage to end because Daka was cruel to her children saying at one time, he left one of his children in that ever baking hot Luangwa district as they were heading to Chipata from Lusaka because he was irritated.

At Grace’s insistence, justice Tembo dissolved the marriage ordering that all children under 18 years remain with their mother while the rest be taken by their father.

Justice Tembo also ordered Daka to compensate his ex-wife K15, 000 which should be paid in monthly instalments of K1, 000 and child support of K1, 000, excluding medical and school requirements.

She further ordered that all the property acquired by the two parties be shared in half for each to get their share equally.